It's important to understand that satire in the office occurs often.
Below are two examples of just that, SATIRE!
Appendix 04
The Best, Most Clever, and Funniest organizational Satire that I Collected during My Management Career.
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Inter- Office Memorandum: Management Directive:
As a result of money budgeted for departmental areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel)
Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside of the company. Provided they are SLAPPED, they can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).
All employees who have been SLAPPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of this new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedures, He/She/will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment). Unless He/she already has AIDS (Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse). Since HERPES or CLAP are considered Benefit Plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy to train employees through our Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). This company takes pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If an employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Senior management is specially trained to make sure that you receive all the SHIT you can stand.
Proudly endorsed by your management
How is your corporate PLAN created?
THE PLAN
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In the beginning was the Plan.
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And then, came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a container of excrement, and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to the other, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents saying unto them, "It promotes growth and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with powerful effects."
And the president looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
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And this is how shit happens.